sister

crazy life this is. twists and turns you never see coming. most surprises are not the good kind. bad news. nowadays anyway. but this weekend brought a surprise of the best kind. my long, lost sister found us!

my father had an affair. the woman became pregnant. that was the end of our "family" as i knew it. my father was not the most responsible person on earth. not by a long shot. the family was doomed from the start. but this was the end.

he had a baby with this woman. they all lived together. i remember when he told me. on my 10th birthday. after she was already born. shocker. happy birthday to me.

i went to their home every weekend for almost a year. then, out of the blue, they were gone.

my father told us that the mother met a sugar daddy and took off to cali. me being 11 bought that. hook, line and sinker.

the truth is much uglier. violent. gross.

daddy at the time, was on drugs. not the fun, light hearted kind. heroin.
the story goes...

he beat the mom. mercilessly. she fled. left the baby in the house. the cops came to get the baby in the morning. and that was it. makes a lot more sense then "moved to cali".

i asked a couple times over the years, what happened. do you know where she is? i was told nothing. but to be quiet, because his current wife, i refer to her as "the savage cunt", didnt know anything about this little snaffoo. there it stayed. dead.

not anymore.

she found me. on facebook. has been looking for a long time. was nervous that she would somehow disrupt our lives. that for some reason we would not welcome her with open arms. couldnt be futher from the truth.

when whatever God was giving out families, we were given the short stick. holidays spent by myself. no reunions in my future. people who were clearly never meant to be parents. given a new sibling? a normal one? who never got the chance to have that "dad" fuck up her head like he did ours? lucky. happy for her.

she's gorgeous and sweet. has a supportive boyfriend in her life who seems to be her rock. shes a 6th grade teacher. seems very loving and just trying to piece it all together. now the fun part...

she wants to meet the dad. i have not seen my father in 10 years. i dont hate him. but hes toxic. no one could make me feel so good about myself, or so awful. love/hate. no gray. just typing that sentence, gave me a light bulb moment of every man who has been in my life. even tho they dont look like my father. or have similar backgrounds or anything in common, they are the master of the mind fuck abuse. i guess i do date my father. anyway...

i said i would go with her. mostly out of spite. you cant just make babies and not care where they are or what theyre doing. you dont get a "re do". you dont get to remarry and keep your secrets. have a new "perfect" family. where you look like a stand up guy. when you have 4 other kids who dont know you. you didnt go to my games. parent/teacher days. help me with homework. you were too busy doing drugs and knocking up women.

but the best part, the "savage cunt" is going to lose her shit! this is going to send her in a much deserved downward spiral. karma. haha. so glad to be apart of this kelly family moment. most likely brought to us by Budweiser. In the can. permanent fixture in my fathers hand. at least up until the last i saw him.

what sucks is, i know he was given a heads up. she asked questions to his friends. hes expecting this shoe to drop. kinda takes a little joy out of it. but still fun.

after all is said and done, im happy to have her in my life. looking forward to learning about her. building a relationship and making up for lost time.

my dad cant hurt her. shit, he cant hurt me anymore either. but i can hurt his wife and the bullshit happy life they put together. boooyyyaaaaaaaaa

30 years

i saw my friend of 30 years. and when i said it out loud, i realized how long i have been on this earth. and how fast it goes. where life takes you. paths that we cross and how we still find the common ground after all these years.
marriages. kids. relocation. career changes. triumphs. defeats. and sentences that start with "remember when".
no more comfortable place then with someone who knows where you been. where you went. and where you are now. and the goals you need to reach.
no judgment. just catch up. laughs. understanding. respect.
today started shitty. ended sweet. except for michael vick being an eagle...
booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo