Not the best company

I am nasty pants today. You know when you wake up and have plans, and everything you touch turns to shit? That would be my day. I have a rare opportunity to hang out with the man tonight, but I told him to go see friends. I need to be away from anyone I love because today I am bound to hurt feelings. I wake up. On today's agenda, pay bills, do homework, go to lunchtime yoga, and run some errands.
Bill paying? Easy enough. I know what to expect. I just had to sit down and write them out. I open every one and they are all double/triple what I was expecting. There goes any fun money I thought I had. On top of that, I found out my Tuition Assistance that I get being in the Military was filed incorrectly. Too Bad, so sad. I'm out of pocket. I wouldn't even go to school if I had to pay for it. So another kick. I run to get stamps, mail the bills, stop at wawa for my 24 oz coffee. (I normally don't get that size, but lots of homework, calls for lots of caffeine). I get back to my house, and drop the coffee on the ground. SPLASH! WTF!!!!.
On to homework. This week is mid terms and a lot of material is due. My plan was to be glued to my laptop and get it done with only a break for yoga. I get on a roll. Bang out 2 solid hours. Go to work on the the assignment and my very new laptop doesn't have the software I need to complete it. Coincidentally, I can purchase it at a low student price of $120. I've already spent $300 on materials for this friggin class, and I find out I am actually paying for the class. Sure, what's another $120. GO FUCK YOURSELF!
Ran out to run some more errands before yoga. Traffic is a nightmare at 10:30 for some reason. I'm laying on the horn like a crazy , road raged soccer mom. Go to my coffee shop to get the coffee I so desperately need at this point, and realize I am just too nasty to be in public. I want to kick puppies. I'm way too full of negative energy and it's unfair to subject anyone to me.
All I can think about is how I will be stuck in the computer lab for hours to get this project done after I complete a 2 hour Bio lab midterm, only so I can study for my 2 hour Bio lecture midterm, then for the 2 hour Computer Science midterm. My brain isn't working because I'm so stressed. I'm on fight or flight mode, and flight it is.
So what does any normal person do in these situations? I don't know because I've been looking at, and bidding on vintage dresses on Ebay instead of anything productive. Let me say, i don't need vintage dresses. I go nowhere that requires "Dress Up". But lucky me just won a dress I'll never wear with money I don't have. I HATE ME TODAY!!!!!
Today is a wash. Fetal position it is. Maybe some Nyqil to put an early end to a crappy day?
To top it all off, my smoke detector chirps every 15 seconds. As many times as I climb up to shut it off, it comes right back on at the very worst of times. It's like Chinese Water Torture. Driving me further into insanity. It is not on batteries, but hard wired into the electric. IT'S KILLING ME! I worry i may take my rage out on anyone in my path. I am literally on top of a loaded .357. I'm thinking about the reasons I never wanted to own a gun. Me being in this kind of mood is reason #1.

Mutha F&*$%er

This weekend I was robbed again from my "Urban Sanktuary". My bike was taken. In my yard, I have a little breeze way where I housed my bike. The gate is welded shut, so there is no access from the front. My yard has a 10 ft fence, houses on either side, and directly behind my yard, which I refer to as "The Garden @ Urban Sanktuary" is an empty over grown lot, also surrounded by a fence. I believed my bike was safe. The effort that was made to steal my ride was impressive. 1st, you had to spot it from the front. Determine that myself AND the dog were not home. Go around the block, climb a fence, through and over grown city jungle, climb my high fence, hoist my bike over the wall and back through the city jungle. All the while not being detected by my neighbors. That, I define as determination and hood talent.
So far, along with my bike, my ipod and dock were taken from my car while I was in the house for 3 minutes, my license plate was taken when I was in ATL, and of all things, my recycle bucket stolen. I know I should be angry, but I'm sad. It hurts my feelings. I have so little, but grateful for what I have. The weather is crazy nice and getting better. I was looking forward to a week of bike riding to school, saving some cash on gas and parking and making my ecological footprint just a little smaller. I used to think it was Karma when bad things happened to me, but my conscious is clear. I haven't sent out any bad ju ju. I try to do what's right everyday.
I know the thief lives steps away from me. Has to. Only someone who knows what I'm up to would be ballsy enough to do it. But here's the thing, these hood rats aren't too bright. I know I'm going to see this tax payer riding my bike right past my window. And I got something for his ass.
But the biggest wake up call? I'm not as safe as I told myself I was. If someone is motivated enough to spider monkey through those obstacles to get my bike, what's next? I hold my weapon closer now. Loaded and ready to use. I will shoot first and ask questions later. You come into my space again, you are one dumb mutha fucker. I will eat a sandwich while on the phone to 911 explaining some scumbag's brains have left a mess in my place and I will need help removing the remains. I will make sure I use my PR skills and get local media to cover that MCK aint nuttin to fuck wit. Putting a sexy spin on vigilante justice. Become a hero to single women living in the hood, trying to do right. So? I'm turning home invasion into a positive. hahah.

Checking in

Nothing exciting going on. Life is kind of boring. School is good. Boy is good. Weather is good. Relationship is good. Its all good. I started running for real and its all good. Was looking forward to my 1st Broad St run, but the Army is taking me away during the time of the race. That's not good. But I will be SGT after my 2 week training, so that's good. Even Steven.
No drama. Normal life is weird. I'm so not used to it. I have to tell myself this is how its supposed to be. But I feel "off". A lifetime of roller coaster rides, always spinning my wheels. Survival to the next day. Now I exist in complacency. Complacency gets you killed, they say in the Army.
I have been accused of being an adrenaline junkie in the past. The need for excitement was greater than my need for air. Is that all gone? Part of me hopes not. Part of me likes the calm, mature me. Can I find a balance?
The high I get from running mimics the high I would get from "fun". I don't miss drama. I never really liked it anyway. But crazy begets crazy. So, what did I expect? In bed at a decent time. Up at the crack of dawn every day. Homework, study, workout, army, household chores. No after hours, mad dating, late night bad decisions, rock star lifestyle a thing of the past. The girl who was the key to every velvet rope, and I couldn't tell you whats going on on any given night. That is an adjustment. Now when people ask me for guest lists or recommendations, it's actually work instead of a quick text. I am officially out of the loop. Oh well. On to the next.
Today a boy from my past gets engaged to the love of his life. I have known of the plan for a week now. Saw the ring. Helped with suggestions on how to do it. Invited to the surprise after party, and I am expecting to be asked to take an active role in the wedding. Sometimes when you see a couple, you know it will work out. I'm pulling for these two. They compliment each other. Their eyes light up when the speak of one another. They laugh together non stop. The enjoy being together. Look forward to just hanging out. You don't see this often. In my experience, people get hitched because it's the natural progression. They're doing it because they can't see a life without each other. Sweet. I will dance at their wedding and hope for a lifetime of happiness.
Until then, I'll try to be more interesting.