Chicken-cord-on-blue

That was my costume. I recycled this one. I was this same thing about 13-14 yrs ago behind the bar at EGYPT Night Club on the Waterfront. I stole it from a NYC DJ who was wearing it that same night. because I have new,dope, bright, blue, Pumas and this was a completely different crowd, i figured why not? so check this BUZZKILL out! I give my friend a clue of "Winner, winner, CHICKEN dinner" and he guessed it right away! how was this possible? his waiter from the other night was being the exact same thing!!! WTF!!! It took 13-14 yrs, and it got to that dude. AND it looks like he had the idea 1st! i immediately contacted my gf, who i know has a pic of us all those years ago just to prove it. I put more of an effort into it the last time, but this way was fine.

the boo looked awesome in his batman snuggy. even more awesome, he can use it everyday, not just for holloween. but check out the gene simmons dude. his shoes were like a foot tall. we hung with that guy a lot, but we will never know who he is in real life. good times, good peeps, another holloween. feels like holloween 2011 was yesterday.

hurricane sandy about to hit us. i tend to not take this stuff seriously. i should, considering this is my job. schools closing, businesses shutting down, evacuations. maybe i should have some fear, but i dont. working from home the next couple of days. that makes me happy, considering i was to be on 12 days in a row. i get burnt out. especially because my boss is the biggest moron on the planet and i don't know how he walks and chews gum at the same time. or how he bullshit his way into this position. i really worry about the mission we are on. it is doomed with him "in charge". we let him believe that, as we work around him. he's a tard. enough on that.

going to LA for my birthday!!! woo hoo! 40 is a BIGGIE and i feel aweome and need to celebrate. when i lived in LA, i never got to do anything being saddled to the abusive clown. i never got to just be. the boo cannot get away in december, so i called my west coast bestie and set up a visit. im so excited. yoga, beach, nightlife, sunshine. i want to see just how far i can run on the beach path, visit a friend on the boardwalk, do things i could never do with the clown. i had free yoga and he made it as if even yoga class was sinister. he told his friend that i do yoga to look better for other men. accused me of the same. everything was suspect. it became pointless to do anything, go anywhere just to avoid the abuse.

my boo? says "have a great time. i'm sorry we can't go away together". he feels bad. i say we have a whole lifetime to celebrate. i understand. we can celebrate any ol way. with friends, just the two of us, on a beach or in his basement. i dont care. he is the main reason i feel so great. im happy. that is his gift to me and he worries that not enough. it is waaayyy more than enough. happiness? its new to me. he helped get me here. he keeps a smile on my face. makes me feel safe. cared for. loved. this again is new to me. so good. i do think he's a lil worried about me being out there and being tempted to do something. but i have no intention. why would i risk the best thing that ever happened to me for some dude that means nothing? i just want to hang with my crazy girlfriend and laugh. he knows that. but he knows my past and i can feel his anxiety. i cant let that stop me from living my life. as i have stated in previous posts, i can not sacrifice my wants to make someone else happy anymore. im not hurting anyone by visiting my friend. end of story.

ooooooohhhhhhh. the storm is getting good. time to hunker down with the dog, bon bons, reality tv, the internet and my man. xoxo

Now I say HOOAH!

I completed the Army 10 Miler yesterday. BIG deal for me. I was told distance running was not in the cards anymore after my injury running the San Fran Marathon in 2005. I proved them wrong.

39, about to be 40 any second, I was approached with the opportunity to run as a team. I explained that I really wanted to. I'll train and if my knee is ok, Ill do it, but no promises. And train I did. 4-5 days a week, at stupid o'clock in the morning, I ran. I stuck to the treadmill because it is less impact on your body. I protected my knee and when there was pain, I stopped. Running on a tradmill is very different than road. I could build up endurance, but I knew I would struggle when the race came. Also, I never ran past 8 miles. I worried that I would end up walking during the race, and tried to convince myself to leave my ego back in Philly. I remember trying to sooth my team members who worried about their performance "whatever happens, happens. Let's just try to have a good time". I was really talking to myself.

The day couldn't have been more beautiful. Perfect running weather, trees turning a million vibrant colors, and the Nations Capitol as our backdrop. We did it. All of us. The pride we earned that day is priceless.

We all ran at different paces in different waves. For some of the team, this was not their first ATM. 5 of the 16 run Keyan style. Fast as shit. For a few, this was their first race of any kind. First distance run. For me, I had something to prove. You can never tell me I can't.

Not only did I run the entire race, I did it in 88 mins. BOOOOOOOMMMMMM. The 1st three miles were a struggle. I remember thinking, "Oh shit, 7 more miles". Then my stride became effortless. I started picking up speed with each mile marker I passed. The hills became fun, not an obstacle. I was now passing people from waves that started 10-15 minutes before me. When I crossed the finish line, my thought was what's next?

After the race we clebrated with hugs. We were awarded with coins from the Command Sergeant Major of the Army Reserves who just happened to be getting interviewed by our Rally point. We took the metro back to the hotel, jumped in the car, and made our way back home to avoid the traffic of 40,000 people trying to leave at once. It was a great day.

Again I proved to myself that there is nothing I can't do. I am a product of what I believe. I believe I'm a warrior. Half marathon next.

In the history of the 338th MED BDE, there has never been a team for anything. We started something very cool and we plan to grow. Lead from the front. Be an example. Engage your fellow soldiers and continue to accomplish things you thought you couldn't. Things in our unit changed yesterday. A new morale. We are proud of ourselves and everyone else is proud of us too. We need to use this momentum to inspire others to join us,

Now, I'm not saying there is no downside. I'm barely moving today. Last night was a little rough as well. I am still almost 40 with injuries. Walking is not my friend right now. Heating pads with my knee propped up watching reality TV. Thank God I had off from work. Taking a couple days break from running, but not too long.

More pics to come.

Fitness on the Cheap/My Workout Hustle

Since I have nothing significant to report, I figured I would share some things. Being that I like working out, and my budget is small, i gotta find a hustle. so i will share my secrets.

daily deals are my best friend. especially groupon's "now" deals. that site always has a class at a fancy fitness facility, yoga studio, personal trainers, specialty classes such as;spinning, rowzone, cross fit, boot camps, and the like. often you can buy groups of classes or memberships for a fraction of the real price.

i downloaded a free ap "Deal Drop". this ap combines all the deal sites into one place and knocks it down into categories. there is always something on there at a much lower reduced rate.

Lululemon and Athletica give free in house or off site classes all thru the week. "friend" them on facebook to get the skinny. they even have running groups and clinics for any skill level.

during the summer, "Urban Yoga" holds once a week classes somewhere outside. this year it was at the comcast building. last year it popped up at different parks around the city. again, friend them on fb for info.

every studio/facility wants your business. if you go on their website, 9 times out of ten they have a deal for new students. i just found a week of free classes at The Yoga Garden on south street. think about it. its $16 a class normally. major score. http://www.yogagardenphilly.com/

a new yoga studio just opened in my hood. and while under construction, they invited local yogis once a day for a free practice until they officially opened. even though it was not completed, it was still one of the most beautiful studios i have ever seen. i will definitely go back, even if i have to pay full price. haha. check them out. http://www.digyoga.com/philadelphia-classes.html

meetup.com has several fitness groups. you can find whatever youre into. i belong to "Run Like a Philly Girl". over 400 members and several runs a week at all different times and areas of the city. all paces and distances. beginners to marathoners. i have run with them several times, but now i dont have the time. even their early runs are too late for me.

lucky for me, i have a gym at work. i am there by 6am mon-fri. i always have someone to run with (its our job, we have to do it). im fortunate that way.

Pinterest is my new favorite thing. not only can you find anything that interests you, they have 1000's of workouts that do not need a gym. you don't have to leave your house. whatever your fitness goals, you can get it on Pinterest. the workouts are dumbed down, step by step. you can "pin" them to a board you create just for work outs. heres mine... titled "keeping it sexxxaaayyy " http://pinterest.com/pin/152629874841601602/

another free ap i have, (im new to it, so im still learning), is "Fitocracy" . you do not need a smart phone because it's on line as well. www.fitocracy.com . both the ap and the site are linked together. its a mixture of workouts, tracking progress, ideas, and it also has the social networking side with groups, friends, and strangers getting involved with your routines. they give support and info to reach your goals. it feels like a group effort and makes you accountable. when people are paying attention, youre more likely to get your ass in gear. plus, my Boo's brother is on there and is kicking my ass in points. so it becomes competitive as well.

there is fitness "On Demand". free classes right in your living room, included with your cable. most people don't know this. but its pretty awesome and changes frequently.

you can also find classes on line. back to yoga, there are several sites with classes from amazing teachers. search "free yoga online". there is an overwhelming amount of resources. im sure you can find any class if you search that way.

and last but not least youtube.com. anything you want to learn or see is on there. when i get a workout from Pinterest and it mentions an exercise ive never heard of, i go to youtube.com and in seconds im taught.

i cant think of any other hustles, but im sure i have them. OH! volunteer at a facility for free memberships. sometimes this is as little as 2 hrs a month. i wrote a blog for a studio for a while and it gave me free classes and workshops. pretty sweet.

if you see military personnel...

its ok to thank them. wish them a safe trip. buy them a coffee. carry their bags. but please leave them alone!!!

being in the airport in uniform is a double edged sword. people are nice. bumps to 1st class. smiles and handshakes. but then there are those who think because you are in uniform, you must be sociable.

one time, it was 530 in the am. i had my headphones on, reading my nook. i couldnt have looked more preoccupied or unapproachable. a man actually made me take my headphones out to ask me what "APO" stood for in overseas addresses, because he owns a business that sends to "APO" addresses. then he proceeds to tell me about his business and how it will benefit me and my soldier friends. then he goes on to tell me he was a volunteer firefighter before, asked me personal questions, wants to know my reasons for joining the military and so on. DUDE, IT IS 530 AM!!! IM TRYING TO CHILL BEFORE MY ASS KICKING TRAINING IN WISCONSIN! he didnt care.

on my way back from that trip, same thing. headphones and nook. "my cousin was in the navy. have you ever been to japan? he liked being in the navy. blah blah. blah". another gentleman..."when i was in the army we didnt have MRE's (meals ready to eat), we ate out of tin cans".

today, on my way to Indiana, most of the people just say "thank you" and keep it moving. some will ask you where you're going, how long you'll be there, what will you do there, who watches your dog, and just wont let you have any peace.

just because we wear a uniform and you see us as the "good guys" doesn't mean we are friends or we want to chit chat at stupid o clock in the morning. please leave us alone. does it ever dawn on you that maybe were about to get our asses kicked in a training for the next few days or months? or were on our way to fight a war? that we had to run around like nuts to get our lives squared away just to get here and this could possibly be the only down time we will have in god knows how long? ITS NOT ABOUT YOU!!!!

i know these people dont mean to be pain in the asses, but if you see someone with headphones, reading a book, talking on the phone, or going into a bathroom... that is not the time to make conversation with them!!! say hi. drive on.

i know i sound like a bitch, but its so fucking frustrating. im not your dancing monkey. im not here to entertain you or be your sounding board. i signed my name on the dotted line. that ends my obligation to you.

idiot

i read his most recent crap. his judgemental bullsit. hes the expert on all things "cool". it is so comical. i wonder if he believes hes fooling anyone?

he pretends to be back east helping out his family. that is a big lie. he doesn't do anything to help them. unless by "helping" he means living with them while they support him, clean up after him, give him a car, do his laundry, feed him, blah, blah, blah. why is he still here? bouncing around philly? places i could possibly be. trust me, he does not want a chance run in. this hatred in me, directed at him, has not dwindled a bit. i don't think i will be able to walk away like the last time his stalker ass just happened to pop into the yoga class i was taking. coincidence? total impossibility. i was so freaked out, i bolted. i didn't want him to see what car i drive or what direction i was going. i just wanted away from him. fast.

ill always remember that stupid face he had on. acting shocked and hurt that i would react like a caged animal breaking free. putting on a show. nothing about him is the least bit genuine. he is fake to the core. a walking lie with a lot of expensive education.

the only reason he is still in the area is he cant get back to LA. i would bet the farm he still doesnt have a job, but tells anyone who will listen about all the upcoming projects he has in the works. any day now he'll be a huge success. he's working with so and so on a big budget so and so. yeah, they let him be a part of the process, but in the end, nothing.

but if it means anything at all, his internet friends, who've never met him, think hes something special. but anyone who knows him? really knows him? knows hes a clown.

i can't stop reading his shit. every time there is something new, its like xmas morning. its so laughable. the image he portrays, the guy he so desperately wants people to think he is, is the exact opposite of the person he is.

keep poppin into all the trendy spots just months ago you pretended to hate. i thought west philly is where its at? your gangsta days at the U of P? remember those? ivy league hood rat with the wealthy parents? hahaha. you look real hard when youre lounging out in your parents jacuzzi next to the pool. if i remember correctly, i think you poked fun at those of us who chose to spend our money in cc/no libs? are we changing our image? does this one suit you a little better today?

please raise the money to go back to LA. stand on a corner with a bucket and beg for change if you have to. i would gladly contribute to that fund. the main reason for that? i cant get in trouble. i could lose everything Ive built for myself with just one punch to your face. in reality, i prefer a bat. but what are the chances of me having a bat with me? slim to none.

busy busy busy

summer is my favorite. this is the time of the year when my house is messy, bills are late, i lose sleep, shirk responsibilities, and it flies by too fast. i have to work, so that takes up a large portion of my time. but i need to be out as much as possible. poolside, beach, boating, camping, outside cafes. anything that involves sunshine and warm weather. here it is. july 24th. too much summer gone by already. before i know it, it will be cold again. i need summer year round. nothing that goes wrong feels that serious in flip flops.


i fell in love last summer with my best friend. i would have never guessed we would still be here. even stronger. more in love. solid. so happy i am. change. its constant.


i was thinking today about where i am at this stage of the game and how i NEVER would have imagined this is where i'd be. its crazytown. freaky. im content. not just content, proud. i make a difference everyday.


i am 1 of 10 people tasked in a 3 year mission of saving lives. in the army we are called "killers". not in a derogatory way. almost as a badge of honor. even if we ourselves dont kill, we support the ones who do. for the next 3 years, i am part of a greater cause. this whole year we train. we use our assets (soldiers with certain qualifications)and have them trained as if they were to deploy. we are a medical unit. a HHC Brigade with down traces. so, nurses, emt, commo, logistics, intel, etc... and they prepare for a stateside catastrophe. if a katrina, 9/11, wildfires, or any kind of emergency happens, we will be the task force going in to help. i will bounce all around this country for the next 14 months,training, learning, bringing info back to our soldiers or search for qualified soldiers in our down traces. selecting who will train in what areas, who are high speed enough to take on this huge responsibility and privilege. working closely with FEMA, Homeland Security, DoD, DSCA, NIMS and many other organizations involved in stateside emergencies. together we share a common language, resources, and assets. we are training to work with civilians, law enforcement, local, tribal, and federal. some of my travel is cool, but some sucks. like next week, im going to atterbury indiana to run a week of chemical warfare scenarios with a team from texas who currently run this mission. they pass it to us in 2014. we spend this time learning. take what they do right, change what isnt working. this mission is in its early stages and you can never be fully prepared for an emergency. but in the army, we train/we fight. its fulfilling. i will gain so much intel and have so much education in these areas, its priceless. hopefully when this 3 years are up, i will land a career in this field. again, change. this was not the plan.


i still want to finish my BA. but now for shits and giggles. its something ive always wanted. but not much use for a BA in english. i would love to teach all over the world. but we'll see. who knows. life is what happens when were busy making plans. whatever will be will be. for now ill live in the moment. C2CRE-A mission is my world right now. that aint too bad.

1 yr

1 year has past. we have been together for 1 yr. in this time, i learned to trust someone again. i feel safe and secure in my own skin. i have no interest in anyone else. no one catches my eye. no one can compare. i will do nothing to ruin it. and i will jump thru hoops to keep it. it's so easy. comfortable. but never boring. he inspires me to try new things, and i do the same for him. we cram as much fun into the time we have together. make every minute count. i have no doubt that he loves me. im just so lucky he does.

we've known each other for almost 27 years now. we have no secrets or skeletons. there is nothing to hide. he knows all of my flaws. my short comings. but then again, he knows my road. and i know his. both were pretty rocky.

we were very close friends as kids because we didnt have it easy. we never have. we have always gravitated toward each other. we find reasons to laugh and smile every day. there is always a kick in our step.

at this stage of my life, almost 40, its a surprise. i wasnt looking for this. it found me. i still think its crazy. lots of things are different. life is so different. completely different.

i am an "empty nester", in the army, working on my BA, moving to the burbs, in love with my oldest friend, in bed by 9, run 5 days a week, hold a very rewarding and prestigious position, rarely have time for yoga ( i miss it everyday), i go to the jersey shore on the weekends... who am i?

ive been in a major transition for the last 3 or so years. i hated my life and where i was. i changed it. worked/working on myself to be amazing. leave a dope legacy. never let grass grow under my feet and NEVER let a negative influence bring me down again. i think that is how we ended up together. because im doing everything different. and it was time to have something real. i have never felt like this before.

i have been "in love" before. nothing healthy. always conditional. but what did i know? what were my examples? i stopped believing in it quite some time ago. and certainly wasnt trying to find it. even to those i "committed" to in the last few years. those were just words. i didnt mean it. i have only had casual flings the majority of the time. when the boo and i started to hang out, it was for a few months before we made the step. i had not dated in a while. very unusual for me. i always had something going on. its too easy. but i was focused on school/work/life, i just forgot about men.

at first it was just like old times. partners again. fishing, surfing, movies, boating. things started to change. i tried to ignore it. why ruin a good thing? we both have too much baggage. too much history. we know each others exes. we went to each others weddings. but he is the best thing to ever happen to me.

it took me a longer time to accept that i was falling for him. i didnt want to be in love. love has never worked out for me. it usually ruins a good time. i also didnt want to commit. i havent really been good at that. but here we are. and its so good. my best friend.

i get goosebumps when he touches me, and butterflies when im about to see him. people know were in love and that we actually enjoy being together. in all of my life, i have never met a more caring person. more hard working. more honest. he took care of me as a friend and now he is my safe place to land.

tomorrow, after work, we will go down to his lil spot down the shore. surf, fish,(by "fish" i mean, lay on the boat while he catches dinner) bbq, cocktail, sun bathe, dance, and celebrate our 1 year. but whats awesome about us... we celebrate everyday. life is good. xoxo