crazy life this is. twists and turns you never see coming. most surprises are not the good kind. bad news. nowadays anyway. but this weekend brought a surprise of the best kind. my long, lost sister found us!
my father had an affair. the woman became pregnant. that was the end of our "family" as i knew it. my father was not the most responsible person on earth. not by a long shot. the family was doomed from the start. but this was the end.
he had a baby with this woman. they all lived together. i remember when he told me. on my 10th birthday. after she was already born. shocker. happy birthday to me.
i went to their home every weekend for almost a year. then, out of the blue, they were gone.
my father told us that the mother met a sugar daddy and took off to cali. me being 11 bought that. hook, line and sinker.
the truth is much uglier. violent. gross.
daddy at the time, was on drugs. not the fun, light hearted kind. heroin.
the story goes...
he beat the mom. mercilessly. she fled. left the baby in the house. the cops came to get the baby in the morning. and that was it. makes a lot more sense then "moved to cali".
i asked a couple times over the years, what happened. do you know where she is? i was told nothing. but to be quiet, because his current wife, i refer to her as "the savage cunt", didnt know anything about this little snaffoo. there it stayed. dead.
not anymore.
she found me. on facebook. has been looking for a long time. was nervous that she would somehow disrupt our lives. that for some reason we would not welcome her with open arms. couldnt be futher from the truth.
when whatever God was giving out families, we were given the short stick. holidays spent by myself. no reunions in my future. people who were clearly never meant to be parents. given a new sibling? a normal one? who never got the chance to have that "dad" fuck up her head like he did ours? lucky. happy for her.
she's gorgeous and sweet. has a supportive boyfriend in her life who seems to be her rock. shes a 6th grade teacher. seems very loving and just trying to piece it all together. now the fun part...
she wants to meet the dad. i have not seen my father in 10 years. i dont hate him. but hes toxic. no one could make me feel so good about myself, or so awful. love/hate. no gray. just typing that sentence, gave me a light bulb moment of every man who has been in my life. even tho they dont look like my father. or have similar backgrounds or anything in common, they are the master of the mind fuck abuse. i guess i do date my father. anyway...
i said i would go with her. mostly out of spite. you cant just make babies and not care where they are or what theyre doing. you dont get a "re do". you dont get to remarry and keep your secrets. have a new "perfect" family. where you look like a stand up guy. when you have 4 other kids who dont know you. you didnt go to my games. parent/teacher days. help me with homework. you were too busy doing drugs and knocking up women.
but the best part, the "savage cunt" is going to lose her shit! this is going to send her in a much deserved downward spiral. karma. haha. so glad to be apart of this kelly family moment. most likely brought to us by Budweiser. In the can. permanent fixture in my fathers hand. at least up until the last i saw him.
what sucks is, i know he was given a heads up. she asked questions to his friends. hes expecting this shoe to drop. kinda takes a little joy out of it. but still fun.
after all is said and done, im happy to have her in my life. looking forward to learning about her. building a relationship and making up for lost time.
my dad cant hurt her. shit, he cant hurt me anymore either. but i can hurt his wife and the bullshit happy life they put together. boooyyyaaaaaaaaa
Monday, August 17, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
30 years
i saw my friend of 30 years. and when i said it out loud, i realized how long i have been on this earth. and how fast it goes. where life takes you. paths that we cross and how we still find the common ground after all these years.
marriages. kids. relocation. career changes. triumphs. defeats. and sentences that start with "remember when".
no more comfortable place then with someone who knows where you been. where you went. and where you are now. and the goals you need to reach.
no judgment. just catch up. laughs. understanding. respect.
today started shitty. ended sweet. except for michael vick being an eagle...
booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
marriages. kids. relocation. career changes. triumphs. defeats. and sentences that start with "remember when".
no more comfortable place then with someone who knows where you been. where you went. and where you are now. and the goals you need to reach.
no judgment. just catch up. laughs. understanding. respect.
today started shitty. ended sweet. except for michael vick being an eagle...
booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Monday, July 6, 2009
Club Espo
No matter how hard and fucked up life is. I have a happy place, where nothing matters. No drama, no hardships. Just love and laughs.
Shit that is said could never be written, but it is a poetry that flows like no brilliant piece of literature I have ever read. It's magic.
The funny that is prominent at every gathering, actually gives me a headache from laughing. No comedy team, or improv group could ever stand up to this crew. It is the most natural , in sync, spontaneous combustion of ridiculous that can never be duplicated. Something that needs to be witnessed. There is no way to explain it.
Never mean spirited. All comes from love. Not everybody can hang. But the people who do, are bonded by this place. Youngsters to old heads. Check your issues at the door.
Along with the funny, is the love. How everyone is so happy to see everyone else. You belong here and when your not there, youre missed.
Dank food that never seems to end. Cocktails. Greenery. Volley ball, horse shoes, swimming pool, music, and love, love, love.
My son, who at 17, never wants to hang with me. I "forced " him into The 4th of July party. Now he's counting down the days to the next gathering.
I am so grateful to be included in this crew. With out it, I don't know what I'd do.
The only thing that might not be perfect? As a single woman, Im never going to meet anyone. I would never date in Club Espo. And the rest of my days are mostly spent with gay men. So single girl suicide. But, I'll sacrafice gladly.
Shit that is said could never be written, but it is a poetry that flows like no brilliant piece of literature I have ever read. It's magic.
The funny that is prominent at every gathering, actually gives me a headache from laughing. No comedy team, or improv group could ever stand up to this crew. It is the most natural , in sync, spontaneous combustion of ridiculous that can never be duplicated. Something that needs to be witnessed. There is no way to explain it.
Never mean spirited. All comes from love. Not everybody can hang. But the people who do, are bonded by this place. Youngsters to old heads. Check your issues at the door.
Along with the funny, is the love. How everyone is so happy to see everyone else. You belong here and when your not there, youre missed.
Dank food that never seems to end. Cocktails. Greenery. Volley ball, horse shoes, swimming pool, music, and love, love, love.
My son, who at 17, never wants to hang with me. I "forced " him into The 4th of July party. Now he's counting down the days to the next gathering.
I am so grateful to be included in this crew. With out it, I don't know what I'd do.
The only thing that might not be perfect? As a single woman, Im never going to meet anyone. I would never date in Club Espo. And the rest of my days are mostly spent with gay men. So single girl suicide. But, I'll sacrafice gladly.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
no fun in the rain
what is up with this weather? its crazy. cant we get more then 2 days without rain? summer is the greatest. i feel like its almost over. and i dont even have a tan.
Murder over the weekend
A girl and friend were shot and killed this weekend in her apartment building. It's a new popular spot. The Piazza. A"luxury" building recently completed, with big outside parties that go on all summer long.
What's weird is, I didn't know her. She's supposed to be a "Philebrity". We ran in some of the same circles and shared some of the same friends. But she is a stranger to me.
The cops found a TON of coke and lots of money in her apartment. I don't think the murder had anything to do with it. The shooters didn't take the stuff. It looks like they didnt even know about it.
What was a young woman doing with 4 kilos of coke in her apartment and 100 grand? That alone is dangerous! I know I wouldnt be able to sleep with that in my crib. I would be so paranoid. Now she's killed and all the news report on the findings. Her poor family. Not only mourns her death, but have to deal with knowing what she was involved in leading up to it.
Makes you wonder, what else was going on? Im sure more ugly truths will be exposed. The murderers will be caught. Too much video evidence for them not to be caught.
She was known in the "scene" as an event planner, promoter. Hung with rappers and athletes. Photographed with lots of celebs. Did she get this popular because she lived a very dangerous lifestyle? Is this why I didnt know her?
Well, the story is bound to unfold. I think there is prob lots of scared people. Afraid of what will come out. Someone really wanted her dead. They had it planned. She was not to survive. I believe she was the target. Not the friend that was with her. What did she get herself into?
Take time to send a positive thought to her loved ones. Pray, if thats what you do. Tell people close to you , that you love them. And stay out of trouble.
What's weird is, I didn't know her. She's supposed to be a "Philebrity". We ran in some of the same circles and shared some of the same friends. But she is a stranger to me.
The cops found a TON of coke and lots of money in her apartment. I don't think the murder had anything to do with it. The shooters didn't take the stuff. It looks like they didnt even know about it.
What was a young woman doing with 4 kilos of coke in her apartment and 100 grand? That alone is dangerous! I know I wouldnt be able to sleep with that in my crib. I would be so paranoid. Now she's killed and all the news report on the findings. Her poor family. Not only mourns her death, but have to deal with knowing what she was involved in leading up to it.
Makes you wonder, what else was going on? Im sure more ugly truths will be exposed. The murderers will be caught. Too much video evidence for them not to be caught.
She was known in the "scene" as an event planner, promoter. Hung with rappers and athletes. Photographed with lots of celebs. Did she get this popular because she lived a very dangerous lifestyle? Is this why I didnt know her?
Well, the story is bound to unfold. I think there is prob lots of scared people. Afraid of what will come out. Someone really wanted her dead. They had it planned. She was not to survive. I believe she was the target. Not the friend that was with her. What did she get herself into?
Take time to send a positive thought to her loved ones. Pray, if thats what you do. Tell people close to you , that you love them. And stay out of trouble.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Philly is my boyfriend
Sometimes he pisses me off. We fight at times. Knock down, drag out, brutal fights. I'll leave. But I always come back. Because he understands me. Comforts me. Makes me feel normal. But don't get it twisted. He ain't perfect.
Philly is flawed.
Not the most attractive, not the cleanest, often violent, not the most tolerant But what it does do right? I cant run from.
The community Philly is. The people are funny. Mostly honest. Majority of us are not trying to "get away" with anything. What you see is what you get. Not too many large egos. And if I witnessed one, I would have to question their origin. Most likely a transplant. A wannabe.
That's the thing, we ain't tryin to "be" anything. We just "do".
Since this is my first blog. I want to set the theme. Philadelphia will be the topic more times then not. Not just the city. But the flavor, sporting events, people, shows, parties, charities, events, museums, yoga studios, djs, dive bars, gyms, food, or whatever. Experiences. Philly Experiences.
Add something, criticize, contribute or just read. Thanks
Philly is flawed.
Not the most attractive, not the cleanest, often violent, not the most tolerant But what it does do right? I cant run from.
The community Philly is. The people are funny. Mostly honest. Majority of us are not trying to "get away" with anything. What you see is what you get. Not too many large egos. And if I witnessed one, I would have to question their origin. Most likely a transplant. A wannabe.
That's the thing, we ain't tryin to "be" anything. We just "do".
Since this is my first blog. I want to set the theme. Philadelphia will be the topic more times then not. Not just the city. But the flavor, sporting events, people, shows, parties, charities, events, museums, yoga studios, djs, dive bars, gyms, food, or whatever. Experiences. Philly Experiences.
Add something, criticize, contribute or just read. Thanks
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