hurt physically, mentally emotionally.
did the army 10 miler again. this time with a sprained ankle. bad idea. i did way more damage. ego is a powerful thing. i had to do it. if i didnt, i would have to explain myself forever. now, i limp. was given a very uncool cane to walk with. stuck in my body, when i have energy that has to get out. depression is sinking in.
mentally exhausted. too much thinking. all the time. work load. baby boy. next move. how to swing it. where to go. what to do. need a break. days are short. weather cold. what happened to summer? it skipped us. work, work, work. good times few and far between. love of my life? gone.
there is no such thing as happily ever after. everything is fake. very real feelings. happiness a distant memory. i thought this was it. comfort and butterflies. respect. goosebumps. understanding. everything i wanted without knowing it. didn't look for it. found me and fucked me up. made me believe that this "love" thing was a possibility. its not. not in my world. destined to be alone. unlovable. disposable me.
reinvent. bounce. stop hurting. pick myself up. eat again. breathe. overcome like any other time life kicked my ass. i didnt expect to hurt. i thought i had none left. i should be happy i feel.
