Meds

I'm not sure if the meds have finally started working, or time, in fact heals? But the panic, heartbreak, anxiety is not here today. Things are still the same. I can't say I'm happy. I will say I don't need to talk myself off a ledge today. 

I was looking at my "favorite ex boyfriend's" fb page. He's a dad now, making wedding plans. I feel nothing but happiness for him. I got a text earlier from a friend I haven't spoken to in a while. He's engaged to his longtime boyfriend. I've paid attention to his growth and happiness over the past couple years, and I had genuine joy for him. I can be happy for people. I didn't think I could. Not with the sadness that is my reality. It feels good not to feel bad for a minute at a time. 

I don't know how I'll be tomorrow. I don't care. Small victory today.