almost time to go. life as i know it will come to an abrupt end. no longer in control of my daily life. someone else will have that power. i find that almost comforting. spending a lifetime of trying to figure things out. its a welcomed change to have someone else make my decisions for me. im going on auto pilot. and my issues with authority figures is going to have to come to an end. i wont win any battles, no sense to put up a fight.
im starting to worry. im much older then the others. my body does not bounce back like the lucky youth. aches and pains on any normal day. about to get an ass kickin on the daily. i just hope the physical part is obtainable. i know in the back of my mind, that i can whoop any 20 year olds ass. but i still worry. combat barbie.
i am already planning my return. doing some travel before i touch base back in philly. hopefully have a plan on whats next. a new perspective. a sunny disposition. a renewed love for my hometown. or, if thats not the case, an exit strategy. one that solves everything. the boy happy. me happy. its our time. life is short. and too much time has past not living the lives we want. no more. struggles and bullshit stops now.
my 37th birthday in 3 days. 37. i cant believe it. by 38, i will have a much different life. im excited to see what life that will be.
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