Classes at CCP are almost done for me. I haven't made a concrete plan for the fall. There is only one plan I have, but that will take an act from Jebus to pull off. My state of mind right now? Shut it down and deal when I have all my brain cells working towards a common goal at the same time. I know when I go back to read this later, I will see just how my mind works sans meds. Cause I'm already thinking about random stuff I want to jot down.
Daddy bought me another bike. 70 degrees all week and being in my car is killing me. He knows how sad I was when it was stolen. He just mentioned on Saturday night... "Tomorrow, we'll go to breakfast and get you another bike". Did I mention he bought me the last one for my birthday? Now my bike is in the living room. Part of the furniture. There it will stay.
I Did a 15 mile ride yesterday through Penny pack all the way to Pine Rd and back. Penny Pack is so beautiful. Smack dab in the middle of the NE. I'm glad I never took that park for granted. I used the hell out of it in my lifetime. Drank in the park growing up. Took the boy on every nice day to feed the ducks and get exercise. Trained for a marathon and roller bladed my lil heart out. Now, biking thru it. It is gorgeous. No trash, spring springing, crazy wildlife. Oh and holy hell!!!! Bald Eagles in NE Philly!!!!! No shit. I am speaking the truth. More than one. My dog should be scared. 5 lbs and she is no match.
Speaking of Daddy, we registered for the "Rebel Race". It's in July in NY state. Camping all weekend with the race being one of those muddy obstacle courses. My Boo doesn't "work out", but has more energy than a 3 yr old on pepsi and chocolate. He never sits still and I have a feeling he'll carry me. I know we'll have a blast. We always do. We even had fun on Friday night when he ran out of gas (for the first time in his life) 3 blocks from home, on pretty much the only cold night of the year. Instead of bitch? We walked to the closest bar and decided to leave it for the morning. Saturday morning, before I even opened my eyes, he had taken his bike and handled it. Also came back with breakfast from one place and coffee from Wawa. My man. Energy of that 3 yr old. His Birthday is next week and I am spoiling the shit outta him. No one deserves it more than him. He kills himself giving all day and gets very little in return. I need him to know how grateful I am to have him in my life in this very weird capacity. He makes me happy. I am so happy.
So this brings me to my ex bf. Not the one I hate so much he makes me gag when I read his nonsense, but the one I actually enjoy. We have an odd friendship. When he had a live-in gf,our communication was limited. A text here and there. He does my taxes so we handled business. But now he's single again and we just pick it back up. He has always allowed me to use his house when I needed to disappear or take advantage of his hot tub.( Of course this couldn't happen with the live-in). His house is now better with a full gym and crazy TV technologies. There's always home baked cookies and whatnot from his elderly female clients and a fridge full of Diet Pepsi. We did in the past, recycle each other. But those days are over. It's an adjustment to settle into "just friends", for real. Not just friends that "Break glass in case of emergency". Without knowing it, I hurt his feelings. When we were together, we WERE NOT good for each other. I was less-than-faithful and so was he. There were many other factors as well, but I won't get into it. He knows I will not step out on my bf. I said to him, "I would never hurt him. It's not worth it. I love him too much to ever betray him". The ex witnessed me over the past few years be the playa. Jugglin more than one dude. Cheat on the disgusting pig. I saw the hurt in his eyes when he realized that I can control myself. But with him, I had no intention. Not that he loves me or wants me back. Just that I didn't respect him or our relationship. I had also explained to him, that I wouldn't even consider a relationship unless I could be monogamous. That I didn't think that guy existed. I wasn't looking for him. But I did know that I wouldn't commit to someone unless I meant it. I would not make the same mistakes I did with him. And I certainly would not settle or be bullied into a nightmare of a relationship with anyone again like what happened with that pig. I didn't mean to hurt him. I want nothing but happiness for him. I love being his friend. I LOVE hearing about his wacky adventures with wacky chicks and the life of a 30 something single, successful, handsome man. To some, he is the holy grail. To me, he's my funny friend. We just happened to date 6 years ago. I think I know him better than most, and he finds that comforting. My Boo knows we still talk. If he has a problem with it, he isn't showing it. I told him about the abusive, possessive, stalker and the damage he did. I don't think he ever wants to resemble that clown. He also knows how happy we are and how stupid we would be to fuck it up. I'm not that stupid and he's the smartest man I know, so we're solid.
Well, I'm sure I have a million more mindless tid bits and stories but Law and Order just started and now I can't focus on this. Hahahaha. Oh ADD, how you make life interesting. Or not.
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